iN tHis stAte of agOny

i feel terrible today. ach, what else is new?

i have a feeling that im never going to leave the ilab. it's become the newest tambayan for me. ay, kawawa naman ako. still have a lot to do and my hormones are not helping. mood swings are on overdrive. it's driving me crazy. im miserable. im giddy. im whacko. im depressed. my bra's too tight and my pants are too short. life sucks, man. life's a fucking joke.

there's a song in there somewhere.

i still need to do soooo much more for school. projects and papers and group reports and crappy stuff like that.

crises.

i feel soooo sad. someone cheer me up. something that lasts long. the donuts didn't work. only felt stupid saying that little-scissors joke.

<<-->>

it's so hard to feel good about yourself when you're in ateneo. someone is always smarter, prettier, friendlier, thinner, sexier, nicer, richer, better than you. you're always lost in this sea of uncaring humanity and it's a choice between drowning, floating or becoming one of them. i prefer to be on land, though.

what the fuck is happening to me? i feel so... so... down.

<<-->>

one last breath. please come now i think i’m falling. i’m holding on to all i think is safe. it seems i found the road to nowhere and i’m trying to escape. i yelled back when i heard thunder but i’m down to one last breath. and with it let me say... let me say... hold me now. i’m six feet from the edge and i’m thinking that maybe six feet ain’t so far down. i’m looking down now that it’s over reflecting on all of my mistakes. i thought i found the road to somewhere. somewhere in His grace i cried out, "heaven save me" but I’m down to one last breath. and with it let me say... let me say... hold me now. i’m six feet from the edge and i’m thinking that maybe six feet ain’t so far down. sad eyes follow me but i still believe there’s something left for me. so please come stay with me ‘cause i still believe there’s something left for you and me. for you and me. for you and me... hold me now. i’m six feet from the edge and i’m thinking...

<<-->>

i can't get this song out of my head. i think it has something to do with my moods. damn, i have too much to do. i'll rant again later.

adios.