Baby let's cruise

I am all out of wit. And my vagina just fell off. Ingat, baka maapakan niyo.

I need 2 short stories by Friday, 3 more by August, and 5 by the end of the semester. My insides are starting to shrivel, just thinking about it.

*

Sarj: "Maybe it's just me, but I don't think my heart is beating as much as it shoiuld."

Sasha: *blink blink* Me, I feel like my heart is beating too fast.

Sarj: *nods sagely* You're excitable.