liFe iS goOd
surprisingly, im having the time of my life. walang pressure, walang hassle. that's why im taking it slow, taking my time and actually looking for pressure and hassle. kulhet ko no? i tell myself na i just have the initiative, blah-blah, that im not procrastinating. sus. im just weird.
yup.
so im studying for botany, english, math and even filipino just because. wala lang. certain things have made me realize lots of philosophical stuff. one of them is that since my course is really, er, out of this world ("ayun ba yung course para sa magandang lettering?" chuchu: credits to jev!!!) i have to face the fact na my life isn't gonna be as easy as i want it to be. it's been said lots of times na if you want to get rich, you'd rarely do so by being a writer.
hai. eh alam niyo naman ako. tigas ng ulo. haha.
even before i entered ateneo, i know what i would be facing. i know that compared to the rest of the world, my work sucks. promise. and recent happenings have showed me how true that is. [read: being bashed by the 'higher powers.' snort.] i've trouble writing academically. my fiction (the only thing that i thought i have going for me) sucks. my poetry is comparatively laughable. (reminds me of 'ay, flowers.') the only thing i have going for me is my "serious personal writing."
i don't want to cannibalize myself. i don't. look at the sidebar, where the words of stephen king has been posted. yun. ayaw ko nun.
sigh. pero this is my, er, idea: "if im gonna be a failure in the real world, i won't be a failure in that failure." basta. parang ganun. [ang tagal kong nagmunimuni... haha.]
binasa ko yung quote. pucha, walang sense. haha.
ang isang worry ko lang naman is that baka wala akong mapapala. you know. no talent. tas naisip ko rin naman na siguro naman may matututunan ako dito sa ateneo. kaya nga ako nag-aaral, diba? well. e pano kung ang nangyari eh wala na talagang gustong magbasa ng libro? hindi na profitable ang books, writing, etc.
tapos naisip ko uli: napakapessimistic ko naman. ende naman ako ganito eh.
tapos sinagot: sasha, that's not pessimism. you're just being pragmatic.
tapos sinagot ulit (nagalit na kasi): tang'na mo. pwede ba? leemeealown!!!
tapos tahimik. tapos, naisip ko na lang, shiyet, nababaliw na ko.
ayokong mag-management. yuckerrrsss. haha.
<<-->>
to nikay: darling dear, you have to tell me where you got that "im your papi" shirt kasi my mother's buying. haha. directions? puweash???
<<-->>
im so proud of myself. i didn't say one word. not even eye contact. waaaahooo.
ay, pathetic. snort.
yup.
so im studying for botany, english, math and even filipino just because. wala lang. certain things have made me realize lots of philosophical stuff. one of them is that since my course is really, er, out of this world ("ayun ba yung course para sa magandang lettering?" chuchu: credits to jev!!!) i have to face the fact na my life isn't gonna be as easy as i want it to be. it's been said lots of times na if you want to get rich, you'd rarely do so by being a writer.
hai. eh alam niyo naman ako. tigas ng ulo. haha.
even before i entered ateneo, i know what i would be facing. i know that compared to the rest of the world, my work sucks. promise. and recent happenings have showed me how true that is. [read: being bashed by the 'higher powers.' snort.] i've trouble writing academically. my fiction (the only thing that i thought i have going for me) sucks. my poetry is comparatively laughable. (reminds me of 'ay, flowers.') the only thing i have going for me is my "serious personal writing."
i don't want to cannibalize myself. i don't. look at the sidebar, where the words of stephen king has been posted. yun. ayaw ko nun.
sigh. pero this is my, er, idea: "if im gonna be a failure in the real world, i won't be a failure in that failure." basta. parang ganun. [ang tagal kong nagmunimuni... haha.]
binasa ko yung quote. pucha, walang sense. haha.
ang isang worry ko lang naman is that baka wala akong mapapala. you know. no talent. tas naisip ko rin naman na siguro naman may matututunan ako dito sa ateneo. kaya nga ako nag-aaral, diba? well. e pano kung ang nangyari eh wala na talagang gustong magbasa ng libro? hindi na profitable ang books, writing, etc.
tapos naisip ko uli: napakapessimistic ko naman. ende naman ako ganito eh.
tapos sinagot: sasha, that's not pessimism. you're just being pragmatic.
tapos sinagot ulit (nagalit na kasi): tang'na mo. pwede ba? leemeealown!!!
tapos tahimik. tapos, naisip ko na lang, shiyet, nababaliw na ko.
ayokong mag-management. yuckerrrsss. haha.
<<-->>
to nikay: darling dear, you have to tell me where you got that "im your papi" shirt kasi my mother's buying. haha. directions? puweash???
<<-->>
im so proud of myself. i didn't say one word. not even eye contact. waaaahooo.
ay, pathetic. snort.
posted by Sasha Martinez at
4:19:00 PM
1 Comments:
Sa Farmer's market. Dun ka sa second floor, where they sell cheesy clothes. Look for the stores that sell rocker shirts. Durrr.
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