Clubs are weapons of war

Spread the love, people. These here are brainfarts of the day.

1
I've finished with packing. Now I can get evicted with dignity. Never mind the gigantic box of condoms I bought sans condoms from Rustan's. It contains a shitload of shit, and is labelled, "Will do the Earth a lot of good if this was incinerated in the atmosphere of another star in another galaxy." It contains my Theo book from sophomore year. 'Nuff said, yo.

2
More on packing, and blind items: Guess who gleefully stepped back from crazy-taping Box #05? Said person was grinning like an idiot at the time, feeling incredibly proud of her gangly self. And then she realized her roll of packaging had run out. And so said idiot reached towards her de-cluttered desk to get the other roll of tape (which she bought because her foresight is simply astounding)? And guess who freaking packed said other roll of tape into galvanized - with - packaging - tape Box #05? Who, huh, who?

Another idiot: when all was said and done and packed, who was itching to light a stick and found out that the lighter had probably magically teleported into one of the boxes? Who, damn it, who?!

3
Watched Malena during lunch, and I kept thinking, "Man, I'd be more screwed up than I am now if my mother was Monica Bellucci." And then my lunch said, "Tangina, feeling ha." And so I ate it. And then I listened to the Mulan soundtrack, and realized that my childhood crush of Captain Shang has never faded. Hearing him sing I'll Make a Man Out of You just makes my heart twitter a little madder.

4
What? April 29 na? Sure ka? Uy, are those burritos? What? Anong walang tulog? Natural 'tong nasa ilalim ng mata ko. Pinaglihi daw ako sa puyat sabi ng nanay ko. Tulog nga siya nung pinanganak ako eh, tapos -- what chu saying deadline? To rip off Captain Jack, I like to wave at them as they pass by. Ano kamo? Ha? Ako? I shall play the Am Lazy, Get Out of Pressing Literary Opportunities card. And -- ooh, is that a dry seal? Puwede pahipo? Cool. So, gusto mo ng kasama bukas? I can guard the car and listen to Mulan and Rent on loop while you go and rule the universe. Sure. What? Yeah, yeah, I can always change my mind. No day but today, sabi nga ng Rent cast. Are you going to eat that?

5
One of these days you're going to have a visitation. You're going to be walking down the street and across the street you're going to look and see God standing over there on the street corner motioning to you, saying, 'Come to me, come to me.' And you will know it's God, there will be no doubt in your mind — he has slitty little eyes like Buddha, and he's got a long nice beard and blood on his hands. He's got a big Charlton Heston jaw like Moses, he's stacked like Venus, and he has a great jeweled scimitar like Mohammed. And God will tell you to come to him and sing his praises. And he will promise that if you do, all of the muses that ever visited Shakespeare will fly in your ear and out of your mouth like golden pennies. It's the job of the writer in America* to say, "Fuck you God, fuck you and the Old Testament that you rode in on, fuck you." The job of the writer is to kiss no ass, no matter how big and holy and white and tempting and powerful.

- Ken Kesey "The Art of Fiction," interview by Robert Faggen, The Paris Review No. 130 (Spring 1994)

*Kahit saan naman siguro, no? Haha, sige, I'ma split. My laptop's waiting for me. I have Battle Realms! And damn it, shut up, Tomatoes, I'll get to you in due time!

Good luck, errybooty. Uh, well, not everybody. Hehe. :)