vaGue aCheS

there are aches around my midsection, sharp aches, like forks digging into my gut. solar plexus, maybe. (ive always been fond of that word... the way men would fight each other over a woman, always aiming for that vulnerable part, which is rare, in a hard, strong man's body.) no, i think forks are too mild. i feel as if ive swallowed a stone and it's now lodged inside my body. growing. tearig the flesh, the muscle. the living being surrounding it.

my botany teacher said that a virus will only be regarded as a living being if and only if it lives in a host. i am yet to fully comprehend the profundity of that tidbit of information.

and then there are also vague aches above those sharp aches. vague aches where that fuzzy feeling i once mentioned now resides. it's a funny feeling. that pain is dull and throbbing but it's a pain nonetheless. i have a migraine too but that's too easily ignorable. pain. when it's in this part of my body, i'd be a rock not to feel it.

no, that would be unfair to the rock. rocks can feel. rocks have souls. more... for lack of a better word, alive than me.

hmm. what is it?

the fuzzy feeling's gone. long gone.

let me sleep. curl up underneath the sheets refusing to warm with my own frozen body. nurse the jabbing pain under my ribs. that concrete pain, i can handle. cry, no, scream. that's easy.

it's that unexplainable feeling in the middle of my chest that's overwhelming.

fuck it all, i'm dying.