iN sO muCh pAin

i wrote last night to miss lin. this was while i was bawling in front of my laptop because it won't freaking produce a respectable essay. haha. my so-called intelligence has finally given way to utter insanity.

enihus and enihaaas, this is what i wrote to her:

hi, ma'am.

how do i make a connection between the effect of blogs on politics and the "dark side of blogging?" or don't i?

para kasi ang layo pag rinelate ko pa siya.

hm. that means babaguhin ko.

wow.

hirap ah.

(sigh.)

grabe. ang wild ko na dyan, haha.

so i barely slept. maybe i did but "sleeping" with your laptop buzzing on your tummy doesn't count. natulog nga ako eh pagkagising ko naman e trabaho uli. tapos ang feeling pa, pumikit lang ako. ayoooooooos.

basta. i did my english thing. basta. ang hirap. ang sarap umiyak ng napakatagal. waaaah. siyempre, hindi pa tapos. pwede bang matapos ko? ang dali naman ng life ko kung ganun. shiyeeeht.

oki. so, i checked my mail before fil. here's what miss lin had to say:

hey sasha, if it's too complicated--or perhaps there is no connection given our context--then don't force the issue. just work on what you have. :) chona

puchaaaa ang galing!!! waaaaah. iiyak na talaga ako!!! so ibig-sabihin ba nun eh walang kuwenta yung pagpupuyat ko kanina?!

<<-->>

had terrible, er, visions during fil class. drew. there is such a thing as a belt. or rope. rope is good. save us the horror, darling.

paolo, be-freaking-have!!! XD o, and did i pull too hard? hehe. battered ampu.

<<-->>

i don't want to blog about mr. atienza. huwag na lang. pramiiiis. wag naaaa!

<<-->>

gabie's in the dorm na. i was kinda enjoying na nga my life without her. (sigh.) buti na lang next year, ala na siya sa dorm. buwahahahaha.

<<-->>

called my mom. chatted a bit. my mom's sooo cool. ahlabshu. hehe. she's so, well, my mommy na whenever i want to cry, i just call her and she'll be making goofy jokes about boogeyman and jillian's mole or singing a U2 song or be pragmatic or be clueless or be snorting at whatever kalokohan the boys have been up to. or just to say, "huh?" hai, mudra.

kinda feel bad though. ive been shamelessly hinting that my allowance isn't enough to cover my expenses. now, let me get this straight: i am not one of those spoiled kids who demand for more, more, more! kaya nga ako nagi-guilty eh. waah. o eto: one starbucks frappe or latte or whatver you call them is more expensive than one day of my life. that day (should) include breakfast, lunch, dinner, nibbles, pamasahe, other things like xeroxing, printing and shit. well. sorry. minsanan lang ako kumain sa isang araw, lumalaki na hita ko sa kakalakad at i hate it pag may kailangang i-print. rawr.

naku. while complaining about the pressures of school and its toll (haha) on my life, i told mom kanina (Freudian slip?): "nakakaasar nga lang eh, kumakain na ko ng lunch and dinner."

all at once she was serious. (i told her about the dynamite found sa lrt2 but that didn't get this kind of reaction...) "ba't nakakaasar? aren't you supposed to eat lunch and dinner? plus breakfast? and everything else?"

"eh..." i closed my eyes and prayed then na the ground won't open and swallow me. "hindi kaya kasya sa budget ko." true, true. i wish i can go back to my noodle-diet. i can bear the monotony of it. my taste buds will get used to it in time. my pocket will rejoice. but my body won't be able to handle it. basta. too much salt, preservatives, blah. my high school friends have warned me na nga about the dangers of noodles. and that includes a hospital bed.

basta. we got into a rather serious talk... tas she told me how dad feels about my "eating habits." or lack thereof.

shiyeeeht, joshua and john have basically the same allowance as mine. tas ang sarap pa ng kain nila... waaaah! dapat pala sa kanila ako humihingi ng dagdag, hehehe.

...

i wish i can go on. but im sure im boring you with my "poor me" life. besides, im procrastinating yet again.

bullshit, babeeh.